hello third trimester, nice to finally be here

So, I started this project at a slim 118 lbs. As of tonight, I am a pregnantly 147 lbs. and, I still have 12 weeks to go. (I will now talk Kate Gosselin style...asking myself questions and then answering them) Am I worried? No. Do I wish that I only gained 20 lbs? Absolutely. I would never deny that. Do I think I will hit a weight gain of 60 lbs again? I would like to say yes, but honestly, I am just trying to do what is best for my child. Do I do everything perfectly? So no. But, I do have to go to sleep at night knowing that I have done my best.

Here is a pic of her little mug from the ultra sound tonight. Very distorted but so fun to have a 3D photo. It actually looks like a big brain, but if you look close, you can see a very cute face. Do I think she looks like Kory? Absolutely, but without the mustache.

im still hanging on.

• To the first dance I had with Kory. Nobody had ever given me weak knees like that.
• To the feeling I got when I learned I had earned a large scholarship from Hastings to get me through my last leg of college. Thank you HASTINGS!
• To the time Bishop Cherrington pulled me out of Relief Society in my singles ward in Logan just to tell me that he loved me.
• To the panic I felt when I saw a little girl, not even two, out in the middle of the road with no parents in sight. I drove past. Then stopped, and turned around. I picked up this little girl and walked from house to house for what felt like forever, trying to find her mom. I won't ever forget when we finally found her and her tears of gratitude. This little girl was far from home. I still don't know how we found her mom.
• To the look Trev gave me from the stand in church when I got up from sitting next to all my friends and instead sat by Diane Feldshaw, a girl with no friends.
• To the hug Kory gave me in my parents laundry room after I had had a terrible day. He borrowed a car, and drove all the way from Logan to Ogden just to make me feel better.
• To the feeling I got when I saw my Gramp and Dad both dressed in ARMY green. Gramp in his WWII uniform, and my dad in his formal ARMY uniform preparatory to become promoted to a colonel.
• To the fear I felt when I lost my brakes going over Sardine Canyon.
• The gratitude I felt when I realized that baby Hayden was ok after living in a house full of carbon monoxide when he was just an infant.
• My father in law telling me that I make 'very good rolls'.
• To the good looking guy in the Smiths in Logan ,when I was on an errand for Hastings, who walked right up to me and said, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." That was a good day.
• To the neighbor in my home ward who told me that I had potential as an artist, then took the time to teach me. Thank you Mrs. Chris Millard!
• To my first Krispe Kreme.
• To the great hug that Abs gave me when we first got to Chicago to visit them years ago.
• To the day I realized that I had finally found the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe.
• To the moment I knew that My Gram would never be the same, and it took my heart away, and I drowned in tears. That was a sad day, I miss that Gram.
• To the immense desire to want to be a mom.
• To the way I felt when I first held Hayden and I knew he was special, and perfect, and mine.
• To the nice words my friend Alec said to me the other day at work. That I was pretty before, but that I was even more beautiful pregnant.
• To the day in 5th grade when someone left me a huge anonymous valentine.
• To the feeling I got when I finally caught a wave in San Diego.
• To the moment I knew that the BOM was true. The very moment. The moment I can't ever deny.
• To all of the amazing trips that Mom and I have been on together. San Diego, Chicago, New York, San Francisco. It is energizing to travel with her, and just spend time with her doing adventures.
• To my sisters happy teary face when Bobbi Jo and I went to visit her at the Lodge in Jackson Lake.
• To how I felt in my prom dress.
• To the intense happiness I had in my whole body when I hit mile 11 on the half marathon and I knew I was going to make it.
• To the feeling I had when I finally got the leather mini skirt in high school that I had been saving for. I loved that bit of cow hide.
• To the day I got brave enough to jump off of the dock at First Dam in Logan in the middle of the night with all of my friends.
• To the moment I knew someone loved me and wanted to be with me forever.
• To the ABBA concert this summer with my dad, brother, and sisters. I love that we have music in our bones and that we all get our oddness!
• To the man who came up to me after I gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting and told me that I had changed his life by my words.
• To the first time I rode the white roller coaster at Lagoon.
• To the nice, sincere, amazing words that Kory's uncle said to me when he gave me my new ring.
• To each night when Emma yells from the top of the stairs "Your the best mom in the whole PLANET!" and then Hayden echos, "Your the best mom in the whole UNIVERSE!" Not much can top that.

what women want.

Women want to be cherished, we want to laugh, we want a man who smells good. We want to be needed, to feel special, and to have an occasional break from the duties of the household. We want shoes to be put away, good toilet paper, the garbage always taken out, and nicely clipped fingernails. We want kisses on the back of the neck, three seconds hugs, and back rubs with no expectations. We want a man that can cook, and is not afraid of the kitchen or the grill. We want kids to wake up happy and grateful, we want a closet full of outfits that we love. We want to be able to change our mind and have people not question us. We want friends that love us, and don't judge. We want meaningful conversation. Amazing connections. Happy endings. And the perfect family picture for the Christmas card. :)