FINISHED!!!!!

Today was AMAZING. I loved it. Each mile. I finished with my goal time of 2:15, although I am not sure of my final time yet.

I LOVED all the supporters!! Dad on the Dam, Mom on the turn into the canyon, Toots, Jeannie, and kids at the mouth of the canyon (the sign ROCKED!!), Kory, Hayden and Em on the last mile, Jen in the last quarter mile, and then the whole gang back at the finish line! I could NOT have asked for a more fantastic experience, or more fantastic friends and family. Whoot Hoooooo!!!!!

sad doesnt know.

Sad doesn't know that it was her time to go. That her body was in pain. That she could not take another breath. Sad just knows how much I will miss her. How much I loved her.

I love you GRAM!! I will run my bestest tomorrow, and I know you didn't like to exercise but I may need your help around mile 11!

breakdown. let go.

Her engine is shutting down. There is no sound. The tracks don't bend. This old train...is breaking down. I don't want to let her go. So I keep on rolling. But this old train...is breaking down. I need this old train. She can't stop now. Breakdown. You can't stop nothing if you've got no control. No more control. No more connecting. Breakdown. Let go. Breakdown. Let go. Breakdown. Let go.

a great day

me, my mom, Jeannie, and Toots.

Julie and I after our race on Saturday.

Yesterday was so much fun with a 5K race in SLC and a Mother's Day BBQ at my house with my brother Darin and Sisters, Jeannie and Toots, my nieces and nephews and of course my Mom and Dad. The guys grilled all the meat and we all ate until we could eat no more. Toots made some FANTASTIC salads, and Jeannie brought ultra desserts which I loooooved. I am very thankful today for my mother, and her great example to me. She had six kids in eight years and did so much to make our childhood enriched with the good things in life that matter. I am also thankful that I am a mom to Hayden and Emma. Every single day. Even the hard ones.

don't forget to look up

Tonight shortly after I got home from work Emma had a major, major melt down. It usually starts out with something small, and in this case she needed help in her room upstairs...and I said "be there in a min"....and then came the tantrum. I thought the terrible tantrums were reserved for the two year olds??? So the consequence was ...going to bed at 7:30. She cried until 9:00. I almost gave in. I don't like to see my kids cry, but at some point I need to stick to the consequence that I set. I am terrible at that. "Oh no time for breakfast because you woke up late? Here take a twinkie!" "You want to stay up late and snuggle with mom? No problem, grab your blanket." Sigh. Being a hard core mom requires that you actually do what you say. It is tough.

Parenting is a lot like hiking.

I remember when I was in college taking this great outdoor literature class, and we all went hiking to Capitol Reef and as we were navigating through all the twists and turns and trying to stay away from poison ivy and sharp rocks ... looking out for areas of danger, and also trying to keep both feet on the ground...our instructor yelled to the group. "DON'T FORGET TO LOOK UP!!"...and when we did...it took our breath right away. Cliffs as far up as we could see and at the top, a slice of very, very blue sky.

happiness is magic

My friend Shauntae stopped by today with a gift for me, a charger with the inscription 'happiness is magic'. I love the saying! Happiness is waking up healthy. It is having friends that support you. Kids that give you hugs. Driveway dancing, summer concerts (mmmm Jack come back!), camping, laying out by the pool, Christmas morning, and the unexpected moments in each day.

channeling kara goucher

One year ago I decided to start exercising in the form of running. My friend Malinda talked me into running the Susan Komen 5K in SLC, and I thought, why not? At the time, I could not even run a half mile before I had to stop...and now one year later I am nearly ready for my ultimate goal of running a half marathon!!! It is a lonely process, filled mostly with the thoughts in my head, my ipod music, my shoes that I love, and lots and lots of footsteps...most of them being in the rain or freezing cold. I run because I want to finish this goal that I set for myself. Not to be the best or the fastest, but to say, I did it. My running idol is Kara Goucher, who finished 3rd in this years Boston Marathon. She is fast, slender, and hot. All things I would like to be. :)Sometimes I think we don't know what we are capable of accomplishing. I am not athletic. Somehow though, I find myself on these long training runs and I feel great. I push that last few meters usually in the quiet of the early morning all by myself... and then, just like tons of people are cheering for me as I cross the line...I pump my fists in the air and finish like a champ.