the face of cancer.

Today my good friends Shauntae and Julie went with me to deliver a gift for our friend Eileen who is in the final stages of pancreatic cancer. She loved the frame, and pics from our photo shoot on Saturday. I just want to tell Cancer to go away and leave her alone. I think Cancer likes Eileen as much as we do. Sadly, Cancer is winning.

To view more of the pics from Saturdays photo shoot go to my photo blog.

Joe Sako.

I have this friend named Joe Sako who asks about my Gram, who keeps up on my family, who knits. Indeed. I have a friend named Joe. I have friend named Joe who buys Giga jerky for the kids, who likes to talk about nonsense, who has a girlfriend who loves shoes. I have a friend named Joe who has read the book I am writing about my life not once, but twice. So Joe, today, this blog is dedicated to you. I hope your day is filled with Giga success.

faith baby.

It seems today that faith is what keeps me going. Faith that my friend Jen will find a new job, or start that business and make her dreams come true. Faith that the kid in my art class last week will one day not be scared to put pencil to paper and draw. Faith that I can be as good a friend to those who are good to me, and faith that if they are in need that I can listen and know, and help. Faith that I will become a better wife each day. More understanding and less critical. Faith that this economy will turn before we all lose our jobs. Faith that God has a plan for my friend Eileen who he is taking all too soon, and faith that her kids will remember that she put Him first, and even in her pain and weakness worshiped him....each Sunday. Her daughter holding her head up high in her extreme fatigue. Faith that my daughter will always believe she is beautiful. But not too beautiful. Faith that my son will grow tall and strong. Faith that my friend Denise will be rid of this ugly cancer once and for all, and that her hair will grow back unharmed, because we women...we love our hair.
Faith that my friends new baby boy, born with Down's Syndrome, will influence and bless and be an example of pure love. Faith that one day Jut and Abs can be back in Utah so that we can see their kids grow up and love and kiss them all we want. Faith that Kaylee and Jason will be able to adopt a baby this year. Faith that my legs will carry me 13.1 miles this Spring, through the valley of Ogden and past the street where I work.
Faith in love. Faith in gravity. Faith in happiness.
Mmmm mmm mmm and on and on and on it goes.
Faith in laughing. Faith in friendship. Faith in me. Faith in you. Faith in the future. Faith in now.

breathe.

Sometimes right before I go to bed...usually at midnight...I go upstairs to watch my kids breathe. ...just for a min. Eyes closed, soft sighs, and pure content. Tonight I am trying to remember what happened to the almost 3,300 days that I have had Hayden in my life. He tells me each day how much he loves me, and he means it. He begged me tonight to tell him about when he was a baby. I told him that I carried him everywhere with me, even when I was doing laundry. He gave me pure and utter joy like I had never felt before. Tonight he sleeps in his room and dreams of great things. Emma sleeps too..and surrounds herself with two dozen stuffed animals. She sleeps peaceful and so lovely. I look at her perfect face and blond strands of hair and I feel lucky to my toes and back.

three brunettes and a sushi chef

Jen, Amy, and Andrea

"I will tell you what is in it after you eat it." - Big Mike, Sushi Chef extraordinaire

haha we love this pic! Thanks for the sushi Big Mike!

hands.

Our hand are the first extension of ourselves. When we meet someone for the first time, our palms touch and our eyes meet.

When I was growing up I loved my dad's hands. He would work at a seminary teacher in the day, and then at night he would work as a hobby auto mechanic. However greasy and black his hands got at night, he would scrub them clean ...and in the morning he would have no sign of working on cars.

I love to look at other people's hands, old or young. The lines... they tell a story.

When I was dating I could tell if I would like the guy just by how his hands look. Even now...when I find a nice pair of hands I have a hard time ...ahem...not staring.

I envy piano hands. I love dramatic talking hands. I ache for loving hands. I use my helping hands. I miss the hands of friends that are long gone. I reach for my husbands hand.

I lay my hand next to my sisters...intertwined with my Grandma's aged fingers on her last day in her own home...and that night I softly hold my Emma's young hand...and watch her sleep

i love jullian

So my sister in law Abs got me hooked on Jillian Michael's. The tough, mean, make you cry and doesn't care trainer from the Biggest Loser. I ordered her workout and wow...it was fantastic! She didn't make me cry, but I wanted to. I already can't wait for another 20 min with her tomorrow. Thanks for the recommendation Abbie!