Tuesday, October 14, 2008

what would you change if you could

Would you do a day over? A moment? Would you take back something you said if it meant not hurting someone you love? All your life. What would you change? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. Maybe one choice that changed all your choices. A word. A thought. A mood. What would you change? Change. Change. Change.

He sold me my first guitar. So he could go to a dance with a girl he would one day marry. And then unmarry. He was the leader of our rebels group when we were all 15, which in reality, had nothing to do with being rebellious and everything to do with friendship. He wanted to put an end to gossip, and complaining, and for awhile he did. He was Moose. He made us all sing 'Happy Trails to You' each summer night before we left those neighborhood streets to go our own way home. He was my first unofficial date. Big Fries. He was the life of our party.

Change.

When his sister died I went to her funeral and I saw him... this best friend of growing up, of years of sharing the same block, the same friends, the same sunday school class. He gave me a cheek hug. I felt sad deep into my heart and back again. I wanted to tell this friend how sorry I was for his loss. But I didn't. I would change that day. That day I bought the card for him that I was going to write my words in. The words that would make him know that I cared. This friend of mine that took me rabbit hunting and on bike rides. What would you change if you could?

Change.

He died three months later. What would you change if you could? I still had his blank card. I would change that day. Maybe if I listened real hard I could hear him. I listened, and I did. He wanted a favor, and he knew I was listening. I don't know if it was him or me, but somewhere I heard Mike telling me to please do this one last thing for him... to send his mom 6 yellow roses. Roses that would be delivered on a day when her tears fell heavy. She was listening too, and she heard him.

Six unforgetable yellow roses straight from heaven. That day I would not change.

2 comments:

Humphreys said...

I love that story. I think that's a very interesting question knowing that you can't actually change the past. But if I could, yes, there are lots of things I would change if I could. Mostly moments of impatience. I guess all those imperfect experiences make us who we are, even if we have to do it the hard way.

Toots said...

Aim,
I like this..."what would you change if you could." It made me stop and think. Yes, there have been so many times when I wish I could just go back to the past and relive certain days, certain memories. But, to change things is something we cannot do with our past--so it's vital that we be happy and know our decisions are good ones. However, sometimes they are not and we make mistakes...so thank goodness for improvement and each new day! I really like the story of the yellow roses.