Jazznation!

Hayden and I were VERY lucky to get tickets the the Jazz game a few weeks ago. My friend Joe Sako and his wife gave us the best seats EVER!!! 13th row!! We took some good advice from my boss, Joe, and arrived there early enough to meet a few of the players. Even Coach Sloan! He was my favorite. Just like you would expect him to be, slightly crusty, funny, and great with the kids. Hayden told me, "This is the best day of my life mom." We had such a good time, and Hayden loved each and every minute of it. We worked hard on our dancing moves and made it on the JumboTron, kind of a little dream of mine. After the winning game was over with we headed back to Ogden via frontrunner. AKA the Victory Train! Hayden was a trouper and kept me awake on the drive from the station to home by repeating each and every amazing play of the game. Thanks SAKOS!!!

arrow of light.

Hayden got his Arrow of Light tonight. We were all so proud of him. The guys doing the little ceremony made it so cool for Hayden and Bret. Hayden had to pin an award on me, and luckily my friend captured the extremely embarrasing hug and KISS Hayden had to give me. He is one great kid, so happy and proud of him.

the sakos and the windbreaker club.

The Sako's joined us for breakfast in the heart of BC, at JD's family dining. Little did we know that we would encounter the famous 'windbreaker club'. Their famed picture flank an entire wall. With each gentleman wearing a useful windbreaker. As we began to eat our delicious breakfast, in they walk, one by one. They sat right behind Joe Sako, and as you can see from the pic, they all look very famous. Including the Sakos.

Deseret News!

After several weeks of waiting, ok it was like 2.5, I finally heard back from the Deseret News!! I get to be a writer for them!! I am so excited!! SO excited! How cool!! Anyway, they let me pick my topic for a feature article, and then they approve it, and I go to work. I already have so many ideas!! Look at all these exclamation points!!! YAY MEEEE!!! This will be a little different from my column, as my column in written in first person, and the features will not be about me at all. No talk about how I get my legs so shiny, or my weakness for Cowboys. However, I will still let my personality and writing style come through. I am so thankful for all of these new opportunities. I feel such a passion about following this dream. Doors do open when you are pushing through them.

a tribute.

When I went to Parent Teacher conf. yesterday there was an amazing tribute to all of the Grandparents of 5th graders, and MANY other great people from our past and present. It was in the main lobby of the elementary. Hayden pointed out where HIS was - all about Grandpa Humphreys, placed fittingly right by Henry Ford. I love that Hayden loves his Grandpa Humphreys! He also wrote a little card about BOTH of his Grandpa's for serving in the military. I loved it!

Cold little heaven...

I took the kids on an adventure to Cold Stone Creamery on Sat. It was the best! Hayden and Emma were blown away by all of the choices. Sprinkles, brownies, candy bars, toppings of every kind. And what did they get?? Emma got cotton candy ice cream with gummy bears. A favorite of some of my favorite people. Hayden got cotton candy ice cream with ...kit kat. Anyway, he thought it was the best thing he had EVER tasted. Clearly, I need to take them out for fine treats more often. We all had a great day!

seven month spin.

Love this little angel.

26.2 miles, and a girls trip!

We had SO much fun in St. George cheering on my brother as he ran his FIRST marathon! He did amazing! Coming in at around 3:40. It was a rush to see him and all the other runners pass us near the end of the race. I nearly cried on several occasions. The blind man running, the first woman to cross, and of course my brother... all got me emotional. We had a great time shopping and eating afterward, and hearing Toots' good news!! She is preggers with lucky #5! The best part was meeting baby Will. He is soooo sweet. There is nothin like meeting a new baby for the first time. :)

new blog, just for atmosphere.

For those of you interested in reading what I write, I have created a new blog called 'Atmosphere by Amy Wilde'. I will keep posting to this blog as well, but my crazy, random, and sometimes meaningful writings will now be posted on my Atmosphere blog. Thanks for reading!

www.amywildeatmosphere.blogspot.com

a boy and his horse.

There was a horse, born 26 years ago on hill below the mountain. This horse was tough, but small in size, and because so ...nobody wanted her. There was a boy, who wanted the horse, the horse that nobody wanted. He needed this horse, and she needed him, and so it was decided. She was his best girl, his companion of the outdoors, and the magic in his childhood. The boy rode the horse high and low, whispering in her ear, and telling her all his stories. She took him places, just she and him, all over the face of the mountain. They grew up together, this horse and this boy, the horse that nobody wanted. They went to college, to rodeos, and miles and miles of hunting. This boy and his horse.

The years went by and the horse got sick. But, oh, how she was wanted. The boy was a man, and knew the time had come, but didn't want to face it. The man and the horse walked together... to a special place on the mountain, and the man and his horse looked at each other... one last time. The boy hesitated. The man was brave. And the world stood still. For a moment it was just the boy and his horse, and all those miles, and all those trails. It was her shiny coat, and her warm smell. Her tough personality, and loyal friendship. It was all the years, and all the memories, all remembered in a few perfect moments. Then the thunder clapped, the sound rang strong, and the mighty girl went quiet. This horse that was so wanted. The boy and the man, they fell together and drowned in the sorrow. A bond that could never be broken. Because the boy loved the horse. And the horse, well she loved the boy. He buried her in a safe place on the mountain, a place they both called home. Next to a rock that will never be moved, and a buckle never to be worn again. This horse that was so wanted.

taking it all in.

Maggie is already six months old! I am trying to take it all in and just enjoy her little babiness, and fat cheeks, and drooling smile. At six months old she already loves fashion, shakes, and late night movies. She loves cuddling, walks in the park, and sunsets. Kory's whiskers, Emma's realistic animal noises, and Hayden's kisses. Sometimes I will think to myself, "I have THREE kids!"...and then I smile. It does not really seem possible, but here they are all calling me Mom. Well, almost all of them.

my Angel Emma.

Emma had a great day today, and was so excited to be baptised. She looked like an angel the whole day, even covered in mud on her way in the door tonight after playing with the dogs and feeding the horses. She has already confessed to me that she has sinned. She took food out of the kitchen. LOL! I am pretty proud of this freckled face little girl. She has had my heart for eight years.

THANK you so much to my family and close friends who came to support Emma. I was in tears just thinking about all the love. Sigh. :)

hello September.

Fantastic pic taken by Ladd Darley. It is of Kory and Boyd in Yellowstone.


I think I love September the most. It is the month I fell in love with my hubs, 14 years ago, on the most beautiful campus in the world at Utah State University. It is the month that is still Summer, but almost Fall. It is new clothes for school, and corn on the cob. It is Peach Days, and some of my favorite birthday's. It has one holiday, that requires no gift giving. It is filled with fantastic photography light, just before the sun heads down for a little sleep. It is by far my favorite month. So my September, here is to you, the next 27 great days. I hope you don't let me down.

Famous in BEC. Amy Wilde: Atmosphere

I have read Dear Abby forever. FOREVER. I loved each morning opening the paper and seeing her 50's haircut, and her solid words of advice. I remember thinking, I would like to see my picture and words in print someday. Well, I finally got the courage up to take in some of my sample columns into the Box Elder News Journal...and after a bit of a wait, and some persistence...I have my own column!! The editor is going to let me have a monthly column, and I could not be more thrilled!!!! Thank you to all of my friends and family who have supported me in this little dream. You are my best writing inspiration. :) The column name is Atmosphere. Named for the air we create around us, for the motion we make when we move, for the wind that carries our thoughts, and for the vast amounts of feeling in this universe. I am so excited to keep writing!! If you are interested you can read my first few columns by clicking this link:
http://www.benewsjournal.com/opinion.html

Wheat and Beet Days!

Toots and I decided to run the W&B 10K this year. It was a great morning for a run, with lots of clouds and a great location. We loved it! I am still not as speedy as before I had Maggie, but it is still so much fun. I am glad that Toots is my running buddy! It is so fun to have someone to do these races with. After the race, Toots went home and I met the kids and Kory to watch Emma ride her horse in the W&B days parade. My goodness she can ride 'em pretty. She really is so confident and she just loves her horse. It is fun to see her growing up into such a little lady.

DRC

There are few times in your life when you gather such attention and mass amounts of old retired people as when you are in an RV park full of double axle shiny RVs worth more than our first and current home combined, and you are trying desperately to get a rock-chuck out of his comfy home next to your 'tranny' aka transmission. Such was the day last week, when after a fun afternoon exploring Yellerstone, and going to the IMAX movie about Bears, we saw a rock-chuck run up under the engine of the truck. The truck we had borrowed from my dear father in law, and the truck which we were trying SO hard to be careful with despite having bad luck. So what in the hay is a rock-chuck?? Well, I will tell you. They are yellow-belly marmots. Marmots choose to dig burrows under rocks, and next to trannies in nice shiny trucks because predators are less likely to see their burrow. Predators include wolves, foxes, coyotes, and my husband. The marmot is also an omnnivore, eating grass, leaves, flowers, fruit, grasshoppers, bird eggs, and the important firewall insulation pad that protects a truck from heat. Ahhh Yellow Belly Marmot. Damn Rock Chuck (Kory's words, not mine), or the DRC. Unwanted Hitchhiker. How easy we thought it would be to get rid of you. We tried everything, from hosing the thing down, to jabbing it with a stick, to spraying enormous amounts of 'OFF' repellent on him. Nothing. NOTHING. So, the next morning we called in the big guns. That's right, Fish and Game. At first, it was easy to see that this nice guy packin heat did not totally believe us. He crawled right under the truck, face up and starting poking around. When the DRC chirped, the guy from Fish and Game jumped two inches off the ground. He was a believer. Soon the geriatric nation was piling out of their RVs, setting up lawn chairs, and watching the free entertainment of Kory, the Man from Fish and Game (no relation to the Man from Snowy River), and the nice man from Canada. All three men worked for close to an eternity, each one taking a different angle on the DRC, and FINALLY after copious amounts of man effort...the DRC ran...he ran and ran until he found a new home...right up under a nice, shiny, double axle, 40 foot RV.

losing John Wayne.

On May 10, 1969 John Wayne came to town. Not by train, or by automobile, but instead by helicopter, to a cheering crowd of 28,000 spectators. Mr. John Wayne. Mr. True Grit. Of course, this all happened before I was born, but I have heard the story many times of how he came to Promontory to watch the Golden Spike meeting of the rails reenactment on the 100 year anniversary. A special program that depicts the events that took place on the historic day of east meets west. My father in law, who was out in Promontory at the right place and time, approached Mr. Wayne and asked him for his autograph. Imagine that, standing there next to one of the greatest Western actors of all time while he scratched his name on a piece of paper for you. I can just hear his rough voice, and see his dusty cowboy hat. It must have been a sight of a lifetime. My father in law went home and put the autograph in the safest place he could think of. And all these years, he has never been able to find it again. He turned the house upside down more than once trying to find what inevitably seemed lost. One of his most valuable possessions indeed, and possibly gone forever. It is easy to relate. I think how easy it is for us to put our most treasured possessions in places that we can’t find them. Our best words. Our highest praise for our children. Our deepest love for our spouses. Our hidden talents, and biggest dreams. All locked up nice and safe. Someone once told me if you want to keep from losing something, put it where you can find it. So today, don’t hide your treasures so deep that they can’t be found. Don’t lose your John Wayne. Because if you do, all your life, you will wonder what in the world ever happened to it.

“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.” - John Wayne

three firsts in one day.

Toots, Me, and Hayden in the N Ogden Cherry Days Race

Something happens when you are about to turn 35. You start to get a little crazy. You start doing the math and realizing that indeed you are half of seventy, but not quite at mid-life. For some of us you start thinking all of your life has been spent in cautious steps and little risk, and that it is time to finally let go and have some fun! Thankfully, I went through this phase a few years ago so I can now wisely guide my little sister Tami aka Toots through this coming of age. Toots has jumped in with both feet, quite literally, into running. I love it! I have a running buddy to do races with and to cheer for. Running is a solitude sport, but there is really nothing like having someone there on race day with you. To share the jitters. To stand in the potty line. To encourage. To cross the finish line with.
On Saturday Toots did her first 5K, and did a great job! One first down, two to go.
After the race, it is tradition to go to McDonald's for breakfast. Honestly, it is usually just me pulling in to the drive through, but still, it is tradition. Toots had never been! There are very few things I like more than a #2 breakfast at McDonald's house. Toots ate her Mcbreakfast and liked it! Two firsts down, one to go!
We made it to North Fork and had a great BBQ with the fam and then everyone sans me and the baby decided to go on a hike. My hubs jokingly offered Toots some Mnt Dew and she actually drank some! I can think of nothing else that has ever taken my husband so off guard in the thirteen years we have been married. Way to go Toots for letting loose! Three firsts in one day. Each one as significant as the other. Perhaps trivial. But maybe not. It was one of the finest days ever.

chasing light.

I am not sure how they do it in Alaska. Going without light for so much of the day, for so much of the year. This winter has gone on forever here, and each day all of us look at the forecast to see if there will be light through the clouds. Most of the Spring has been gray. Undeniably gray.

Light makes the photo. It is what turns the colors on and makes a face glow with radiance. Light reflected just right can eliminate shadows, and brighten the eyes. The best light, as any photographer knows, is the first light in the morning and the last light of the evening. I once read up on tips from a famous photographer, who will only shoot portraits the last half hour before the sun goes down. When I put this advice into practice I see some of the most amazing pictures develop. Darkness chasing light. Those last minutes of light hanging on before the night is filled with stars. Soon the sky is filled with smoky gray, and the light is chased out of the night. However, each morning, light wins again and re-appears along the east chasing darkness out of the early signs of day.

*Thank you to my friend Andrea for allowing me to take these bridals of her.

some would say.

For all my life I have watched my Dad dress in ARMY green, to serve his country, to serve this people of the United States of America. He did so with honor, loyalty, dedication, and love. For 38 years, 6 months and 4 days he served this country in the form of a Chaplain. Someone who has to catch the families of the fallen. A mind that must know the right thing to say when all else seems to not make sense. A heart that must love the broken. The Chaplain is the person that comforts, that gives hope, and guides. He is an American Soldier. Some would say that loyalty to a job is a thing of the past; that dedication to an employer is rare to be found. But I would say, look to the American Soldier. Some would say that true love is hard to find. But I would say, ask the America Soldier how they feel when they see the American Flag flying on home soil. Some would say that fashion makes the man. I would say, watch the American Soldier dressed in uniform, and the man he becomes. To all the men and women serving our nation, and especially to my Father, Chaplain Colonel Lynn Humphreys, I would say...thank you.

a blessing & sisters. in pictures.

time does not wait for happy.

You can't wait for happy to show up. Happy is. You can't steal someone else's happy, or borrow a half a cup of happy to get you by. Happy comes from being. You either are or you aren't. Ask a happy person to pinpoint the best day of their life, and be prepared for a list of days. The reason is simple. They know how to approach a day, and find good things even on the rainiest days. Today, for no reason, I just am happy. In our house, happiness is passing gas if you are the baby. Or getting to hug your crush during a play because the scene calls for it. Happiness is shooting the last basket of your fourth grade year on the court at the elementary...and having it go in. It is taking a spring hike with your friends and getting outdoors. Happiness is taking your fear and jumping. Happiness is fat. It grows if you feed it. It is co-dependent and social. Happiness is quiet and calm, loud and crazy. Happy can be bought in the form of fantastic mascara, or amazing shoes. It can be found on vacations, and morning runs, kitchens, and back porches. It is in the eyes and felt in the toes. Happy is now. :)

last day.

Today was the last day of school for the two older kids. Emma pleaded with me to allow her to wear her scrubby pants (you know, pants with holes in them) to school. I caved. I figured, hey, it is the last day! Today, kids should be able to break a few rules. Wear pants with holes in them. Talk without being called on! Go to the bathroom without a hall pass!!! Go crazy and get a drink without asking!!! Grades are in. School is out. Let summer begin.

ive got an angel.

A year ago I stopped by to see my sweet Gram...who was falling fast from this life... and I chose to work, laptop open, instead of hold her hand and sit by her side. I think at the time I thought that there would be another chance. There is always another chance. So I worked. There is a part of me that does not like change, and on this day, one year ago...I saw my Gram change. No longer was there any bit of a smile. No longer was there any animation. There was just the last bits of life hanging on with a sense of the end. Still, I worked on. I stayed with her until she went to bed. Saw the sweet nurses tuck her in, and tell her that they loved her. I saw them kiss her forehead and tell her to sleep. It was so easy for them. So so easy. When they left I had my opportunity to reach down and hold my Gram's warm hand and tell her how much I loved her, right before she fell asleep. But I couldn't do it. I shut down my laptop, and said "Goodnight Gram..." and took my things and drove back home.

All night I thought about her, and made the resolution to stop by first thing in the morning and make it right. I drove straight to the care facility, and quickly got out and made my way upstairs to her room. It was breakfast time, so if she wasn't in her room, she would be eating with the group. I passed a nice nurse getting off the elevator, she smiled at me. It was a perfect day, the sun was just starting to come out and the morning was calm. I found Gram's room and put my fingers around the knob to open the door. But it was locked. I do have an angel. She was there with me at that moment. The moment I knew that I was too late. The nurse who answered the door to my Gram's room said that I had just missed her slipping off to heaven....and that I would need to wait out in the hallway...for my family to arrive. I wonder if I have ever cried so hard, as I sunk to the floor, hugged my knees, and felt sorrow so deep that it bruised my heart. For several minutes it was just me, and the hallway, and a box of kleenex. I missed her so bad. I still do. I miss her on nice days like today, when the sun is just coming up. She always liked a nice spring day.

So today I say to my Gram, "I am so sorry I did not stay. I know that you never liked to be alone. So sorry. I love you...and miss you. I still honk at your house when I drive by, I still can't pour a bowl of Lucky Charms without thinking of you...I still am grateful so often for the memories of sleepovers and getting tucked in to the hide-a-bed with the red afghan.

And Gram..my Maggie Olivia carries on your name - and I could feel you smiling when I talked Kory into Olivia (for your first name of Olive). That was a good day."

Somewhere in heaven there is a spring day. There are new tomato plants, and tiny buds on peach trees, there are bright tulips and brilliant green grass.There are sunsets that would take your breath away, and sunrises to live for. And somewhere there is a choir of angels singing. With one angel...singing very loudly, and very off key...and that angel is my Gram. :)

still.

God knew I needed her the day I was born. Wrapped up in her arms. He knew I needed her on my first day of school, wearing my red corduroy jump suit, setting off to independence. He knew I needed her on all those days of doctor appointments, surgeries, and solutions. He knew I needed her when I when I got asked to prom and needed a shopping companion to pick out my dress. God knew I needed her when I moved away to college and missed my everything... everyday. He knew I needed her enthusiasm when I would call home and tell her all about how much I was loving college, just like she did. God knew I needed her when Hayden was born and I found motherhood, and then again with Emma. He knew I needed her to be excited for me when I said we wanted another one, and he knew I needed her when Maggie finally arrived. God knew that I needed my mom. From the very beginning. Just like she needed her mother, and before her my Grandma needed her's. And so it goes, and so it is. Still. As time began, daughter's need their mothers...and mother's need their daughters. Still.

inside my head.

There are words I want to share. Advice I want to give. Memories I keep replaying. It is a very social place to be. Inside my head... I have conversations with myself, peptalks and to-do lists.

something old. something new. something borrowed. something blue.

This is my old dress...on my new little Maggie...whom I borrowed from God...who gave her eyes as wonderous as the deep blue ocean...

hair and there.

The kids had a crazy hair day today at school. Anything goes!! Color your hair purple! Where ten pony tails!! I have got to be totally honest here. I thought Emma looked super cute with her crazy rat nest pony, and I liked how Hayden's face really popped with his spiky hair. After school the review was in...all the kids thought Emma looked "pretty" and Hayden looked "cool". Ironic? Possibly.