a baby changes everything...

This season we have received many Christmas cards. Well wishes from dear friends. One stood out. A family...a need...and hope... that a baby would soon bless their home. They sold their dream home to try in-vitro, twice...and twice...nothing happened.

Now they ask a special plea for friends and family who know of a birth mother wanting to place her baby for adoption...to please consider them. This couple is near and dear to us...you can find out more about them going to http://jasonandkaylee.blogspot.com/

bring it

me, sue, erin, val, jen look how strong my arms look.

jen thinks about something delicious.

val and erin. happy b day erin!

val and i had a friendly arm wrestle yesterday...at chili's, and i totally beat her. it was...pretty much the best day of my life. i have never ever beat anyone except emma in an arm wrestle. 2009 will be intense because there will be a rematch...and high stakes. so bring it val. bring it.

talk to me while i'm listening

texting. typing. blogging.
talk to me while i'm listening.

tv.internet. ringing.
talk to me while i'm listening.

shopping. working. running.
talk to me while i'm listening.

eliminate the noise. now i can hear.
talk to me... i'm listening.

struggles.pain.tears.
i'm listening.

hope. happiness. love.
i'm listening.

understanding. compassion. grace.
i'm listening.

Gala's all week long baby

So first of all, let me introduce you to my new favorite word, "Gala". It means a festive celebration. Honestly, the word party has lost all meaning for me. From now on it is Gala all the time.

Gala 1 - Friday night Gala at the Estates with my Gram and her new friends. It was....well...luckily Joe Sako was there. His almost grandma Nina was SO nice to Gram. I hope that there is a new friendship there. The food was nice and the people were all great. Honestly though, a little karaoke would have been nice. It would have bumped this Gala into outstanding.

Gala 2 - Giga Gala for my favorite Boss with his favorite managers. This Gala was so much fun, and took place at one of my favorite festive places...Maple Gardens. The thing that was special about this Gala was the fact that we gave our boss some super sweet gifts. Namely "I heart Judge Judy" shirt, and a JAZZ shirt. Fun was had by all. Also, Gina bought my lunch - love that girl.

Gala 3 - Company Meeting Gala. More like a meeting, but because we all got laser pointers it has been escalated to a Gala. Also cookies and cranberry juice were served.

Gala 4 - Girls Gala. I am actually just coming off of this Gala high. It was so much fun. A shout out to Val, Jen, Jessica, Kaylee, Lindee, and Taylor. I got what sounded like a really good item off of the menu, but it turns out it was just a giant block of mozzarella cheese melted and then topped with one single tortilla chip. Otherwise this Gala was tops. So fun. I love these girls and feel so blessed to have wonderful friends at work and beyond! We missed you Gina!

The coming few days will be filled with more Gala's and I can hardly wait.

i've never

1. won anything from the 'claw' game that is inside grocery stores and malls... that looks so so so easy and as it turns out was built by really mean people to make small children cry
2. worked with nicer people
3. been to visit my gram in her new place...however there is a Gala this friday...
4. had a better corn dog than at the fair
5. been to lake powell
6. gone skydiving (but i wanna!)
7. been so happy
8. had a beer
9. listened to ABBA without dancing
10. wanted to go to the beach more than right this second
11. snowboarded
12. let my kids go to bed without a kiss
13. strayed from name brand cereal since I moved out of the humphrey's home stead
14. played the wii
15. eaten potato salad at a work potluck

that one moment

Every year I have one moment when I catch the Christmas Spirit. When I finally can't wait for it to come. When I think how exciting it will be to give the gifts I have been hiding. When I think of the special birthday that we are celebrating...and think of his hands outstretched to me.

The moment usually happens on my way home from work while I am listening to Christmas music. The moment hit me on Thursday on my drive home, and I could hardly contain myself. Saturday we made our yearly trek to get a REAL Christmas tree at one of the fruit stands in Brigham. The tree smells SO good, and is super tall and for sure a Charlie Brown tree. I am especially grateful because we just found out that all my brothers and sisters will be coming home for Christmas. This just adds to my already good mood.

When the feeling finally comes I want it to last all year. Sigh...sugar cookies anyone?

the space between here and there

Tonight is the last night my Grandma will be in her own home. The shadows in her head are just ghosts of her memories. I can see her wanting to remember, trying to understand, and then just somehow...not. Dementia is not my friend. I miss my Gram. When my sisters and I left her house on Thanksgiving after a short visit, I only wanted one thing...and that was for her to say my name. But it didn't happen. It took a lot for me to not cry. I was so glad to take this one last visit on Thanksgiving day with my two sisters, whom I love larger than life. So tomorrow, the red brick rambler will be empty...except for Grandpa's cussing, Gram's bacon frying, Suzie's yipyap, the grand kids feet, the trail 90's engine, the train horns, the coo-coo clock, Dallas on TV, and the sound of lucky charms hitting a glass bowl. Good luck in your new digs Gram...we are sure you will have the time of the rest of your life!

looking backward

Me, Jeannie, Grandma H, Toots

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It is focused on family, giving thanks, and eating. Three of my top favorite things. The highlight of the day was when my mom and dad got out a set of old slides that we had not seen before. There was a magical picture of Jeannie looking right into my mom's eyes just minutes after she was born. We all thought she looked like she was smiling. I am sure I have never seen a baby look that alert and ready to learn in my whole life. There were pics of Toots with her cute face and fly away hair. Of Justin with his PUBS cake, Todd with his lesiure suit, me as a baby, and Darin in a state of happy euphoria that was undeniable. Thanksgiving and every day I am thankful for my siblings, and for the connection we all share. Six kids in eight years means a lot of fighting and a lot of sharing, but in the end after all these years, it also means a lot of understanding.

turkey's do indeed trot

On Sat I ran in the world famous turkey trot. There were a total of 35 people there. Abbie! Where were you??! You could have won your very own large frozen turkey! There was heavy competition for the 30-39 year old ladies. I counted four of us. Nobody showed up for the 20-29 year olds, meaning that their turkey did not go home with a winner. Regardless of this super duper challenge, the race was so much fun. Four miles in the clean, crisp, fall air. Gorgeous blue sky. The kids and Kory both came and watched me cross the finish. Emma hopped out of the truck and ran the last leg with me in her knee high metallic purple heeled boots. Freaking awesome. I took... ahem 3rd. I walked away with a pumpkin pie. Although I did not go home with a turkey, I did run a fairly decent race (for me anyway!) and had a time of 35.30 for 4 miles. Next up....the snowman shuffle. :)

ten layers

photo by Emma Age 6



Everyone has layers. They help to shape us, and define how much we want to share with others. I have ten layers. Complicated. Simple. Layered Me.


Layer 1 - I know your name. You know mine.

Layer 2 - You have added me on facebook. I am nice to you. I have never said LY in a IM to you. You don't know that I hate being called skinny.

Layer 3 - We share inside jokes, we have had at least one deep conversation. You like my style. We get along great, but you don't really know me. We share environments.

Layer 4 - You have heard me brag about my family. You have listened as I share stories that are close to my heart. You may have even been in one of those stories. You know that I love to bake, paint, and have a new hobby...photography. You know that running is my new escape, and that I am training for a half marathon. You know my kids are my inspiration and true love in this life. You have looked me in the eyes and truly listened to me.

Layer 5 - You have seen me cry.

Layer 6 - You know the story of the day I left my Grandpa in the hospital...alone...and the regret I still feel to this day. You know that I still think about this often and wish that I had not been so eager to go eat lunch, and instead stayed with him so that he would have not been scared. You know I cry about this each time I hear the song "Song for a Winters Night" by Sarah McLachlan.

Layer 7 - You know my regrets. You know my flaws. You know the pain I have dealt with. You have seen pictures of me from way before the plastic surgeons got a hold of my face. You know the story of how my prom date changed my life forever, and the day I prayed so loud in my head that someone would see beautiful me. And you know how I felt when it happened.

Layer 8 - You have read my book. You know my deepest fears. You know what my love languages are. You have touched and influenced my life beyond what I could ask for. I listen to your advice and admire who you are and everything you stand for.

Layer 9 - You are in my life each and every day. You support and understand all of my decisions. You build me up on days when I am so low I can't see the sun. You jump higher than I do when good news pours down. You are a true friend.

Layer 10- You have seen the best of me. You have seen the worst of me. You still love me.

a whim and a win

On Saturday morning Kory took Hayden to the ranch, and Emma had a primary practice...so I entered a 5K race to benefit the women's center. It was SO much fun! My good friends Jenny and Marc ran it too - and I was so proud of both of them! Jenny looked like a champ crossing the finish line. I felt really good during the race, and thought I could have run it faster...however...I just wanted to finish under 30 min since I have not been very good at running lately. I finished with a PR of 26.35!!! I was thrilled! Third place in my age group, so I was very happy with that. I was kinda wishing my sister in law Abbie had been there, she would have taken her age group no problem. Sigh. The weather was so perfect, and even though it was a little cold the sun was wonderful.

the best you have, today. always.

Saying yes instead of no. Standing up for someone when they are not there. Loving the flaws in your friends. Waking up happy each and every day. As they say, life is short. Live with no regrets. Unfortunately, for most of us, we have small daily regrets. Today, I slept in. Why? Because. That's why. I love my bed. Loooovvvveee it. So I stayed in bed instead of getting out of to go running. I regretted that decision about 10am when I hit a energy low. Today make a list of excuses you will no longer use. Then chose to never use them again. Be very clear about your goals. Visualize them. Know how you are going to attain them, and then make every day count. The best way to do this is to wake up knowing where you would like your day to take you, and then say yes instead of no. Eliminate your excuses. Find a way. Make it happen. Change your behavior by changing the way you react to a decision.

My next big thing(s):

1- finish the book I am writing
2- do a really great oil painting
3- learn how to spell and use 7 big words

My timeline:
1- Spring 2009
2- Jan/Feb 2009
3 - Nov 2008

My motivation:
1- I want to share my story
2- I honestly think I could be pretty good. It is going to be an ocean...surf board...you know a little Jack J flavor. Sigh...I sooo love him!
3- I work around several people with a huge vocabulary, not to mention my siblings...ya, the campfire vocabulary sessions are intense.

a jumbotron and some sweet moves

Hayden and I had our seven seconds of fame on Wed night. We scored some great tickets to the JAZZ game, and since Hayden is planning on playing for them one day I took him to the game. 6th row baby!!! Hayden dances a unique mix between Elaine from Seinfeld and John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever. During each time out he would stand up and do his moves, and of course, I would join him. We were loving every minute of it. Then, we had our jumbo tron moment. Wow. I look up and I see this girl with decent fashion, and this little guy doing a disco dance move...and I was like THAT'S US!!!!! Hayden embraced it. I was a bit more shy. However, I did come home and practice a full 7 second routine for if and when I get my next jumbo tron moment....because ...as I found out...people DO actually watch the tron during the time outs!

la la la la la life is wonderful

Today take a minute today and remember your blessings. We get to vote today. We have our freedom. We live in a land of opportunity.

Things I am thankful for today:

My family

The Rain
That I get to vote
My fun art class!! See pics above...

My fantastic friends

My memories

My testimony

Our home

My great job

Those who I connect with, and those who I have reconnected with

People who read my blog!!

ill take your extra hour and raise you a brighter morning! here's to a great weekend...

hayden carvin away

martha and her sister camille

This weekend started with a fantastic Halloween. Hayden was a Bronco's football player (the boys need to start winning again), and Emma was a witch (a pretty one with purple eyeshadow and mascara which she cried off for a reason that I cannot recall). The kids trick or treated with Kory and then made it home to do do the official count. Kory and I tested all of the best candy for razor blades. I did find an extremely stale kitkat. It was terrible. No child should have to experience that. Emma's cute friend Alvera (87 years old) made her a candy train. It was sa weeeet!!! We love Alvera.

On Sat I threw a shower for my cute friend Martha!! She is such a doll. She had a great turnout, and got a huge stash of gifts. I had a committee help me with the shower, and so I was able to do it without, ahem, too much stress. Of course I always stress about what people think. The good news is, all the comments were positive. YEAH! After the partae ended I turned on the Aggies game that I recorded and TA DA!! They WON!!! Em and I celebrated by ordering pizza, then jamming on our electric guitars. She is honestly pretty good.

Today was just pretty perfect. I loved the extra hour. I can't wait to get up and run tomorrow and not look at the stars!!

we celebrate with you philly

So I am a Cubs fan, but tonight when the Philly's took the World Series I could not wipe the smile off my face. Cole got dog piled by his whole team. Amazing. What is it about really super happy men that make them jump SO high?? Even the old guys, geez, they jumped a mile in the air the minute the last pitch was thrown. I have noticed a lot of high jumping in football as well. When there is a touchdown, there is always jumping...leaping... air dancing. With the jumping there is typically chest bumping. Girls can't do this for ahem, obvious reasons, but it is pretty much second nature for a happy couple of fellas.

Well done Philadelphia. Well done.

A poem written by my talented brother....

October Sweet October Fair, Ruddy Leaves instead of Hair


It's morning now on crisp cold mountains
The snow has dusted over tops
And made the crimson golds, and yellows
Shine like polished copper pots

Sweet oh sweet the smell of fall
Drifting down the hills to me
And fresh oh fresh the autumn air
Nature's quiet symphony

Wrinkled stars on frosty earth
A pumpkin here for carving on
Crunchy stars and skating ones
Hundreds huddled on the lawn

My lonely senses autumn fills
Quaffing deep I drink it in
A cherished friend remembers me
Quelling now a blue-gray din

This is autumn as I know best
But better still the years to come
Time will overlap on time
You and I will meld in one
The beauty of earth, of air and sun
As best I know has just begun

every fourth friday

Every fourth Friday I spend time teaching art to my kids, in their classroom at school. Art, one of my personal passions, is not taught nearly enough in today's classroom environment. I have asked both of my kid's teachers if I could come into their classroom once a month. Today I had the chance to go to Hayden's class first - and it was so much fun! The kids know me a bit from coaching soccer, so that was cool. I taught them all about drawing in perspective. Something that Mr. Songer taught me in high school. It is a matter of learning how to draw in cube form, and understanding that perspective has rules. As I was passing out supplies I noticed a little girl crying, so I paid special attention to her, and she turned out to be an excellent artist. She left with a giant smile on her face. The kids were building sky scrapers and all kinds of 3-D boxes by the time the hour was up. I loved every min of it. Then it was off to set up for Emma's class. I got there a few min early, so I stepped outside to...recess...haha!! YES!!! All the drama, all the energy, all the same. I have been going into Emma's class for a few months now, so the kids know me and WOW....I got 7 hugs right off the bat!!! These kids are so sweet, and of course the love me cause I am Artsy Amy, and there is no 2+2 or spelling words when we are using our imagination. I have a few star artists who listen so intently to me, and these kids are really good! Today we made original designs by ripping small pieces of colored paper. We had so many great ideas come out of the group. These two hours each fourth Friday are some of the best minutes I spend with my kids. As I was packing up to leave one boy came up to me and showed me his picture, and I told him he better go home and tell his dad what he had done..he just looked at me and said, "I have never met my dad, in fact I don't know where he is. Its just me and my mom." And I replied, "Then you go home and show your mom what you created, and you give her and extra big hug, because she might need it."

So today. Give your best to a child. It could possibly be the biggest investment you make all day.

you can't tell him not to dream

My mother taught me how to be a dreamer. It was only fitting since her mother taught her to be a dreamer too. Generations of mother's before me have taught their children that they could be anything...do anything...and so... I guess it is no surprise that my son has his own list of dreams. Far bigger than mine ever were...he already is making plans for his future. When I met Andrei Kirilenko of the Utah Jazz a few weeks ago Hayden's first question to me was..."DID you TELL him about ME????!" Ahem...

So he dreams.

That one day he will have to make the tough decision of playing for the Utah Jazz or the Boston Celtics. He has memorized the teams, knows the plays, understands the game. A few weeks ago my friend Brett gave us tickets to a pre-season game and Hayden did the happy dance the whole first half. So I tell him, dream on. Don't worry yet about how you will talk the NBA into not playing games on Sunday. Don't fret over what team you will play for. Just dream.

17 year reunion with my fav fellas from highschool

Over the past few days I have been trying to think of something clever and funny to write about this great group of friends, but all that comes back to me is how very lucky I am to know them. Each one of them have greatly influenced my life. I'm still not sure how I won the high school lottery to be able to be associated with each of them, but I do know that they have all influenced me for the better. Scott is one of the most adaptable people I have ever met, and still to this day continues to amaze me with his desire to learn and understand new things. It was so much fun to listen to him talk about bass fishing and horse racing. He loves life and that is certain. I still have a signed Calves and Buckets business card from Scott...did someone say reunion tour??
Matt made us all medallions our Senior year - INXS medallions no less- that we all wore to graduation under our grad gowns. Today he is still same great Matt, still making sure everyone feels a part of the group, and never putting anyone down. Matt once gave me a lucky pack o pennies...and there is still a lot of luck left...I am sure of it. He is a happy, healthy, guy who loves his life, his wife, and his three girls. It does not get much better.
Jere can make me laugh even if he is not trying to be funny. I loved being his friend in HS and constantly having a side ache from his funniness. :) On top of that he is an amazing poet, I know this because I have a few deepies from his mish. I loved hearing that he has build a room in his basement to start up art again...so so cool! It was great to see him again.
James propelled me into popularity 18 years ago, and was an answer to my prayer one very important day in 11th grade. He is still far and away one of the biggest and best friends I will ever have. He is an amazing musician, as we all knew he would be... on top of that he could school all of us with his fashion sense.

So 17 years. That is a long time. For a minute though...Friday night felt like 1991...and for a minute everything was the same.







group pic: Jeremy, Scott, Matt, Me, and James

Amy's Photography...

Tonight I had so much fun taking family pics for our good friends. They have two gorgeous kids who smile perfect when the camera is ready. Thanks guys I had a blast!

what would you change if you could

Would you do a day over? A moment? Would you take back something you said if it meant not hurting someone you love? All your life. What would you change? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. Maybe one choice that changed all your choices. A word. A thought. A mood. What would you change? Change. Change. Change.

He sold me my first guitar. So he could go to a dance with a girl he would one day marry. And then unmarry. He was the leader of our rebels group when we were all 15, which in reality, had nothing to do with being rebellious and everything to do with friendship. He wanted to put an end to gossip, and complaining, and for awhile he did. He was Moose. He made us all sing 'Happy Trails to You' each summer night before we left those neighborhood streets to go our own way home. He was my first unofficial date. Big Fries. He was the life of our party.

Change.

When his sister died I went to her funeral and I saw him... this best friend of growing up, of years of sharing the same block, the same friends, the same sunday school class. He gave me a cheek hug. I felt sad deep into my heart and back again. I wanted to tell this friend how sorry I was for his loss. But I didn't. I would change that day. That day I bought the card for him that I was going to write my words in. The words that would make him know that I cared. This friend of mine that took me rabbit hunting and on bike rides. What would you change if you could?

Change.

He died three months later. What would you change if you could? I still had his blank card. I would change that day. Maybe if I listened real hard I could hear him. I listened, and I did. He wanted a favor, and he knew I was listening. I don't know if it was him or me, but somewhere I heard Mike telling me to please do this one last thing for him... to send his mom 6 yellow roses. Roses that would be delivered on a day when her tears fell heavy. She was listening too, and she heard him.

Six unforgetable yellow roses straight from heaven. That day I would not change.

they are known for their kickline

So I have been sucked into what could be classified as the best reality show of all time 'Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, making the Team'. Somewhere deep inside me I am a cheerleader (and a Broadway dancer, and a thinker...but right now a cheerleader). I like to yell, clap, kick, smile, wave, all of it. The DCC (Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders), have to go through a rigorous tryout, and there is a really mean, pretty lady who runs the show that tells them that A) they can't dance B) they have a muffin top and won't look good in the 'uniform' C) that their high kicks are too low D) that they are not exciting. Any one of these statements taken out of context could still wound you for life. Seriously. As you can imagine it gets way intense. The mean pretty lady calls in the low kickers (or the ones who THINK they are kicking high, and really they are just leaning forward)...into her office and her and her sidekick (a blond with turkey neck) tell the cheerleader that she is off the team. That her high kicks, well, they are just not high enough, and at the end of the day the DCC are known for their kickline. Open tryouts are just a short 6 months away, and there is a part of me that would like to just show up just to say I tried.

I wish I had more...

1. junk in the trunk
2. poptarts
3. money
4. time with my kids
5. jessica simpson heels...hot baby hot!
6. chocolate covered cinnamon bears
7. running socks
8. money making ideas
9. big words in my head
10. time to ride around in Jen's jeep!

one last photo

Tonight I had the pleasure of taking Todd and Fatima's pics before they head of to San Fran for a year. Fati is an amazing beauty, and so much fun to photograph. Ramon smiles biggest when Fati is making him laugh! Todd looks great (it's genetic), and also very, very smart (also genetic), in all the pics. I love the candid ones of Todd with Ramon, and Fati with Ramon. So sweet!

ps I looooove my camera!

let the bake-off begin

4 short weeks is all I have to perfect my chocolate cake and chocolate chip cookies for the ultimate work bake-off. There are extremely high stakes for the bake-off. The loser has to wear canary yellow JcPenny tapered sweats to work, all day long. The loser must walk around the 6th floor (executive level), and work it baby...own it...and work it again. There is a lot of trash talking right now, but Sam never reads my blog, so...I am pretty much super excited to see him in those sweats. A few lunges would be nice too. Actually, word is, he is a pretty decent baker. I am not worried about losing, because I won't. At least, I hope not. So this is how the bake-off is going to go down...first, we bake a 'from scratch' chocolate cake. I have a good idea, and I am pretty sure I will take him and his fancy cake pans down. All rounds will be voted on by our bosses. Second round will be the chocolate chip cookie. I am a bit worried because my boss likes large, flat, cookies with small nuts...and that is not how I roll. So, the challenge is mostly in the judging because there is no way anyone will beat my cookies. If there is a tie, then there will be wild card round, which could get c r a z y.

robyn is real and other things I learned friday night

Our fearless leader calls us a quirky bunch, and really, can you blame him? Except, all this quirkiness works, and is quite enjoyable. The Joe's, Gina, Alec, Jason, Jared, and myself along with our significant others, oh and AK 47, all went dining together at a fantastic restaurant downtown. We were told to be there prompt, and most of us were, a few of us were thinking about the economy and forgot where to turn. All that said, it was a very fun evening. I learned that Joe D had a terrible, terrible experience with Della Reese in an airport, that made him shy away from ever approaching another celebrity again. I learned that Jason has a super cool under pressure wife when she said "Hi Andre..." in a normal, even voice. So cool. I learned that Joe S does not like to share food, and he likes plenty of room in which to arm swing....and indeed Robyn is real. I learned that Alec still is king of restaurants and food as he helped Joe come up with what to order.... sooo good! I learned that Gina is not afraid to try a whole new plate of different kind of food - what to go Gina, oh also I learned that love makes her glow! I learned that Jared has had many brushes with fame, and that he has a small yet strong crush on Rachel Bilson (did I say that right??). I learned that Joe B will eat Indian or Chinese food, it really does not matter. I learned that I am oh so very fortunate to work with so many fellas and a wonderful gal that make my life full and my work days feel short. Each spouse and significant other was so great and we all had a wonderful time. Can't wait for Harvest Dinner 2009.